I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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