You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
