we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize