I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
