separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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