you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
