It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Boobs speak an international language.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
