and you said cock pushups were impossible
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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