I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
