this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
