i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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