fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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