He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
