It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize