Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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