we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
