What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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