I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize