Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
