this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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