At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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