Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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