chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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