so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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