party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
