I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
