I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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