you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this just has baby written all over it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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