On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
