apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
