no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
