"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
