when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
