I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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