No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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