Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
