I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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