I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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