false alarm. still invincible.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize