Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
