What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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