but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
