what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
