through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
