Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
