Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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