Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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