its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
