brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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