found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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