Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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