I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i now understand why vodka
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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