who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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