never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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