O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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