Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
