i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize