i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
