Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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