capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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