Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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