I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Im part way to drunk.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
