"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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